Altern#tive side

March 2005

My thoughts about sex and being gay

What does it mean to be a gay man? What does it mean
to be a part of the world? The answers to these
questions are different for each of us. How you see
yourself as an individual, and as a memeber of a
larger community, depends on many things, and there's
no wrong way to be. We can't always predict who we
will find attractive and what's more. Our sexual and
romantic inclinations may not be constant. How we
identify ourselves and other sexually is not always as
simple as it might seem. While many men identify
themselves as either exclusively straight or
exclusively gay, there are men whose sexuality is less
well-defined. Some of those men, partnered or single,
who primarily have relationships with woman, but also
occasionally enjoy sex with other men. Others are men
who find themselves equally attracted to men and woman
and they may have relationships, sexual or romantic,
with both. Putting sexual labels on others, or on
ourselves isn't important as being open to and
accepting what we find attractive. Sexual desire
comes from many difference sources and discovering
what you find arousing about another person or other
people is the most important part of developing a
healthy and satisfying life.

Terry Lenz

FLORIDA-(PMR)

Let me put you into a hypothetical situation.Your 19,you meet the man of your dreams, everything is perfect, you work , he takes care of the house , makes dinner , chores .That kinda thing , Then things start to change , you fight all the time. Always at each others throats , After awhile things calm down, everything goes back to normal . SO you think, You notice he is happy and your still not sure what’s going on ? Well this is a-little insight as to a “normal” homosexual relationship . So now we get to the real point of the whole story . Say after given many reasons to track this persons activity , either by phone calls, emails or instant messaging , you install the proper equipment. As you wait, you think of how upsetting this information could be , you try and prepare yourself for the worst. The next day you come home to check your email and you find interesting information about your boyfriend and a co-worker from your key logger program. There is sexual conversation and plans to meet along with other “details” its all too much for you to take, you totally lose control and confront your boyfriend, now here is where things get tricky. The tables turn , as you are crying and explaining to the person how much you care for them and the importance of a stable relationship. You notice something strange , your boyfriend , is getting a mad look on his face ? What is going on here I caught him planning to cheat on me ? All faith and trust is gone , yet he is mad ? Well people here is the question . Think about this one long and hard . Why is it that when he is confronted about cheating on you , does he have the right to get mad ? Now I know the typical gay response is Well you should not have been spying on me . Keep that in mind as you ponder over the important question.

Terry/Jeff Lenz2004

Blah blah blah …..

FLORIDA-(PMR
I was in the sprit yesterday , with a whole day off and a paycheck in my pocket I decided to hit the malls . I made my way through all the stores and headed out to the food court , with my boyfriend by my side. Sitting down minding my own business out of no where these two guys walk by hands full of Abercrombie and Fitch bags. One stopped to say, in a typical redneck accent “That‘s why I don‘t shop here all the damn fags”. Its scary when you think that these are the future , George W’s , What have there parents been teaching them ? It's new years is just a few weeks . Year 2005 and people are still just as closed minded as they were a hundred years ago . Your catholic priest are running neck and neck with Michael Jackson . Southern Baptist think that the world is theirs and everything has to go their way. Bush worries more about every other country in the world. And here I sit , just wanting to share my company benefits with the person I intend to spend the rest of my life with and I cannot because everyone worries more about what goes on in my house and not their own .The point is and you may have heard this before , MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS. If you don’t want to see me kiss my boyfriend , turn your f**king head. Don’t worry about what GOD thinks of me , worry about what he thinks of you . As a matter of fact remember all my fellow gay friends out there , GOD loves all his children .

Jeff Lenz2004

Today's Thought.

FLORIDA-(PMR

Here is something you never think about; next time you are watching your favorite show on TV. When the commercials come on stick around, watch them, if you’re gay you will notice something. The more I think about it the more pissed I get. It’s always a man and his wife, a boy and his girlfriend. I mean don’t get me wrong here, I understand that this whole marriage thing is big, but here is a thought. Get off your backs and fight for everything, because all the little things add up. Nothing will piss off those rednecks more then seeing two guys make out in a commercial for Budweiser. Who wants to see two women with fake tits rubbing up against each other trying to sell beer? As I go on here this will seem like a total rant but here is one that will get the trailer park kings up off their plaid couch. Why the hell is it ok to think of two girls going at it in that stupid ass “Girls gone wild” video? Does GOD not frown upon that too? Does he think its cool because its two girls, and not two guys? I would say that the people in this world cannot be more stupid then they are today but then again if things keep going the way they are now it can only get worse.

Jeff Lenz2004

GOOD NEWS!

FLORIDA-(PMR

As much as I have to bitch about , and as many people as I have to insult . I want to take a-little time and give you guys a-little bit of good news . I was sitting at my desk staring off into space when I noticed my boyfriend had a card from JCPenny , which is where he works . It was an open enrollment for insurance there this month. So I went to the website listed on the card to sign him up . As I clicked page by page filling out everything, I noticed a button that read add dependent . Well I am thinking you know it doesn’t matter because I can’t be added because we are not a legal couple. (Thanks all you BUSH voters) Anyway, I said what the hell lets give it a try, nothing to lose right ? So I put in my name clicked , birthday , clicked , SSN , and click , finally I get to the part where it said “Relationship” I click the little arrow and down pops !!! Domestic Partner !!! That’s right all you little boy’s JCPenny Will let you be on your partner’s insurance. So I guess that all is not bad in the world , I leave you with this , SHOP PENNY’S this Christmas and support gay people everywhere

Jeff Lenz2004.

Family and Relationships
Adoption: 19 states allow gay and lesbian couples to adopt children in a complex and expensive two-step process, in which one parent first adopts and then the second can petition for joint rights.
Ceremonial Marriages: Same Sex Marriages may be officiated by church officials, or anyone else, but ceremonial marriages in and of themselves involve no civil laws and carry no legal benefits or responsibilities.
Domestic Partnership Registration: is a means by which some cities allow opposite- and same-sex couples to go on public record as a non-married couple. The major benefit is used to establish legal responsibility for debts after a relationship ends.
Domestic Partnership Affidavit: Many private employers and municipalities offer domestic partner benefits to their workers, based on signing a legal affidavit that defines an economic relationship.

Communication is extremely important in a relationship, unfortunately many people do not have good communication skills. It is often hard to express our feelings, needs, and desires to our partner. When we disclose personal information, we are putting ourselves in a vulnerable position and we risk rejection. And as well all know over the cross of time if often feels like that when we are communicating with our partners it sometimes feels as if we are talking in different languages. So as the saying goes "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus". So that saying goes, it is then we begin to realize that there are gender differences in communication.

Because males and females are socialized differently, they often learn to communicate differently. This does not mean that all females communicate one way and all males communicate another.However, as you and I know that when we communicate as couples, the differences do exist.

One way that we as couples can look at this and evaluate this is that men and women have different goals when they communicate.

Women often use communication to get closer to others, while Men tend to use communication to get across information and gain control. When this occurs it can be difficult for men and women to communicate effectively. But it’s important to remember that everyone is different, and broad generalizations do not always hold. If you and your partner have different communication styles, try to learn from each other so you both can broaden your communication skills.

Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Workplace Issues

Imagine if we picked up the paper and read that the state approved discrimination against Jews, or had sanctioned bigotry against Irish people, or had authorized prejudice against women. Clearly there would be nothing but universal disbelief and outrag.

Workplace discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity and expression occurs with no legal remedy. In 36 states , it is legal to fire someone based on their sexual orientation. In 46 states , it is legal to do so based on gender identity. (State courts, commissions or agencies have interpreted the existing state law to include some protection against transgender individuals in Connecticut, Florida, Hawaii, Illinois, Massachusetts, New Jersey, and New York.) A lot of employers have addressed this inequality by implementing policies to protect GLBT workers from discrimination. Discrimination does not stop when it comes to employee benefits. While most employers that offer benefits such as health insurance and dental care also make those benefits available to their employees' spouses and legal dependents, the idea of extending them to employees' domestic partners is a newer concept. The good news is an increasing number of employers have decided to do so.

HIV Info:

Prevention:

There are still roughly 40,000 new infections each year in the United States. Federal funding still cannot be used for comprehensive sex education in schools, needle exchange programs and other scientifically-proven methods of preventing new infections. Candid information about prevention is far too sparse. Recent initiatives have shifted the prevention focus from “at risk” populations to those who are already infected, hampering funding for many minority-focused community-based organizations.

Care and Treatment:

While new and innovative drugs are being developed and care is improving among some sectors, vast numbers of individuals living with HIV/AIDS have little or no access to care and treatment. Many states have waiting lists for, or have significantly limited access to, drugs through their AIDS Drug Assistance Programs and legislation to permit states to cover individuals living with HIV under Medicaid is stalled in Congress.

Research:

While necessary increases were provided to the National Institutes of Health for critical HIV/AIDS research over the past few years, these increases have slowed down. In addition, science-based research continues to be undermined, such as attempts to eliminate funding for individual NIH studies and to limit the number of government employees who can attend international research conferences.

Global AIDS:

It is encouraging to see policymakers from both parties acknowledge the enormity of the HIV/AIDS pandemic and the necessity of crafting and funding a global solution to this crisis. However, the results have failed to match the rhetoric. The United States has promised to generously fund global AIDS efforts yet has only committed a fraction of the funds that were promised. Moreover, contributions to the Global Fund to Fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria have been reduced, and the United States is exporting unproven abstinence-only-until-marriage programs to Africa when these programs are of questionable efficacy.

For much of American history, indeed, for much of world history, homosexuality has been a taboo subject. Often, it has been considered a crime in itself. Yet today, millions of gay and lesbian Americans are not only open about their sexuality, they are campaigning for new laws which they say would grant them the same rights accorded to heterosexuals, including the right to marry and protection against discrimination.

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My first encounter with Melissa Etheridge’s music was in the winter of 1992, when my friend Maggie popped a cassette of Never Enough in her car’s tapedeck. “Do you hear what she’s saying after that song ‘Must Be Crazy For Me’?” Maggie asked me. She replayed the tape and we listened to Melissa Etheridge saying gleefully, “I didn’t say it! I meant it, you know I meant it!”

Maggie gestured to the tape again and said, “She’s gay. She’s gotta be gay.”

Growing up in small-town Colorado without a visible lesbian community, we didn’t know that Etheridge had been playing in lesbian bars and at women’s music festivals for years. Although her lyrics—which were always carefully gender-neutral—could be interpreted as suggestively lesbian, it wasn’t until 1993 that Etheridge came out, declaring, “I'm real proud to say I'm a lesbian.”

The liberal-leaning United Church of Christ launched a national TV advertising program Wednesday but said the ads had been rejected at the last minute by CBS and NBC as too controversial.

The 30-second ad highlights the Cleveland-based UCC's welcoming stance toward gays and anyone else who might feel shunned elsewhere. The networks said the ad was too controversial to broadcast because it implied exclusion of gay and lesbian couples by other groups, according to the UCC.
Click here to see AD
According to a written explanation from CBS, the UCC is being denied network access because its ad implies acceptance of gay and lesbian couples--among other minority constituencies--and is therefore too "controversial."

"Because this commercial touches on the exclusion of gay couples and other minority groups by other individuals and organizations," reads an explanation from CBS, "and the fact that the executive branch has recently proposed a constitutional amendment to define marriage as a union between a man and a woman, this spot is unacceptable for broadcast on the [CBS and UPN] networks."

The ad was accepted by ABC Family, AMC, BET, Discovery, and TBS, among others, the UCC said. The UCC's 3 1/2-week, $1.7 million campaign, meant to attract new members, will be featured on cable and network TV and could be extended into 2005. The ad shows a muscular bouncer working a rope line outside a handsome but nameless church, deciding who is eligible to enter and worship. "No, step aside, please," he says to two men holding hands.

Across the screen comes the message, "Jesus didn't turn people away. Neither do we." The final scene shows a woman with her arm around another woman.

"We're doing it because we made a discovery: There are lots of people out there who don't know we exist," said Ron Buford, who is coordinating the program for the 1.3 million-member denomination, down from 1.7 million in 1989. The UCC has 6,000 congregations.

jjj